Speaking to the Bound One, part 1

I've decided to get a bit more specific with this blog in addition to the generalized theory and descriptions of my practices and ideas.  I've always treated this as being kind of out there and highly personal, but if there's one thing I've come to understand, it's that sharing personal experiences can be valuable.  I'm going to be adding a UPG tag to the blog for this post and future posts in a similar vein, which will cover meditative experience and communication with my gods and the spirit world.  As with any UPG (unverified personal gnosis, for those unfamiliar with the term), take it with a grain of salt; it's my personal experience, and I'm just sharing it to add it to the sea of other experiences out there.

So, what better way to start than by explaining my first experiences with Fenrir?  I'm going to do this as a multi-part series to frame how my spiritwork has progressed over the years.

The Bound One's Code

Let the shackles fall and devour every opportunity that comes before you.

I am more determined now than ever before to live up to that motto, and that really is the true essence of Fenrir.  Once you get past all of the rage and potential for destruction (which do actually play a large part in the motto, but more on that later), that vital, visceral thirst for life is the key to understanding the Wolf Within, and it's something that I've been failing to live up to for quite some time now.

In the Eddas, Fenrir breaks from the Gleipnir and sets loose on a rampage, his jaws reaching from the earth to the skies above and consuming everything in his path, culminating in the battle where he devours Odin and is then himself killed by Víðarr.  It's easy to dismiss this as raw destruction, and that part can't be ignored.  However, consider the concept of the Odinic Paradox -- the flow of time requires one thing to happen so that another will come to pass, and all time is parallel -- Fenrir must devour the old world in order for the new one to be born (I could likewise wax philosophical on how his being bound as a result of the prophecy of his fate with Odin causes the fate to come about, but that's neither here nor there).  Breaking that restraint and letting the primal side loose is a necessary course of action sometimes.

The only way to fully live this life is to embrace that all-consuming drive.  Every opportunity that you get is one that should be seized.  Even the ones that seem unpleasant -- they can be spat out and refused to the wayside should they be foul ones -- should be considered and sampled.  We teach ourselves so early that we should restrain ourselves and limit what we approach.  We tell ourselves that we don't "belong" doing or understanding certain things.  We tell ourselves that we can't do others.  We tell ourselves that there are limitations.  It's all in our heads.  Let those mental shackles fall and see what you can really do.  Find out what your actual limits are for yourself based on experience, not on a cultural paradigm.  Take risks, take chances, strive for the impossible.

Now, there is certainly the matter of the Fenrir rage and destructive urge to keep in mind.  I'm by no means encouraging seizing the opportunity for violent or criminal means.  We must remain responsible and considerate of others in our pursuits.  That is the one shackle that must never fail, as it is one of the foundation pieces of -- at least in my personal experience -- working with Fenrir as a patron.  Breaking that shackle means losing oneself to the primal urges and becoming less than what we are, rather than elevating ourselves as we should.  Simply being of Fenrir and serving a god with such strong destructive ties does not mean that we must become unthinking beasts.